Well, when I heard that we have to clean the campus every day as a required recourse. I was so surprised, because I have never heard that we had to clean the campus in university. However, we still have to do that. Get up early and arrive at school in the early morning, then the most important thing is going to clean the campus. We can choose three moments, morning, afternoon, and evening, to do the clean.
I do not think this activity is very well, because they can just hair someone to do this. We had paid a lot of money in the tuition, why we have to do that? However, we deserve to enjoy what we paid.
Some of my friends have to do the same thing, but they do not have to do that everyday, maybe just once or twice a week. If we just have to do that twice a week I will prefer it. From the beginning of clean the campus to now has been few months, I become happier than before. I starting to love it, because through this I have learn a lot and meet many friends. The most important is some jobs are pretty easy and just take a little time.
Wish I get the "pretty easy" one. lalala
回覆刪除Hi Robert,
回覆刪除1. You made a good point by saying the university should hire some cleaning ladies to clean the campus because you have paid a lot of tuition fee.
2. Your first introduction is nice.
3. However, 第一段跟第二段都有些轉折語氣上不順的地方, 如你從不贊成到後來比較喜歡labor edcation間沒有很順的轉折
4. 其他如下:
1. Well, when I heard that we have to clean the campus every day as a required recourse. I was so surprised, because I have never heard that we had to clean the campus in university.
第一 訝異除了surprise外有更適合的字
第二 檢查 recourse的拼字
第三 because用對了但是When這一句一樣要跟I was so..這一句用逗號和再一起
2. Get up early and arrive at school in the early morning, then the most important thing is going to clean the campus.
第一 這一句的主詞用法有問題, 請把 get up...arrive的主詞生出來
第二 再者這一句的中間需要一個linking word
3. We can choose three moments, morning, afternoon, and evening, to do the clean.
請改成 We are given three options: morning, afternoon, and evening sessions
或 There are three options for us to choose:...
4. I do not think this activity is very well, because they can just hair someone to do this.
第一 我知道你的they是想說學校, 但你這裏的代名詞they的用法實質上不是只學校或任何人, 請只接指出the school
5. We had paid a lot of money in the tuition, why we have to do that?
這一句why we have to do that不是間接問句, 所以你需要一個助動詞
6.However, we deserve to enjoy what we paid.
為什麼用however?
7. Some of my friends have to do the same thing, but they do not have to do that everyday, maybe just once or twice a week.
請把everyday改成副詞片語
8. From the beginning of clean the campus to now has been few months, I become happier than before.
請面需要一個轉折的linking word/phrase或sentence來讓轉折順一點
9. I starting to love it, because through this I have learn a lot and meet many friends.
檢查動詞starting, learn, meet
10, The most important is some jobs are pretty easy and just take a little time.
我不知道你這一句是從哪裡飛來的或想更誰做呼應